When all is said and done

Well, it's all over but the aching and soreness.

It took one hour, forty-six minutes and twelve seconds to cross the finish line, but I managed to do it.  It wasn't pretty [I wore the the tri-suit!]  but I DID IT!  Now a normal person would be all... "oh, I feel good about having reached a goal", "I'm so happy I did it", "It was a fun".  But it's been years since I've been normal.  So, I'm getting ready to do the last part of the triathlon ... the run [or the walk - because after my creative splashing and suck-wind cycling - the only thing these 200+ pounds were capable of was walking], anyway, instead of concentrating of finishing, I'm already thinking about what I'll do differently for the next triathlon?!!>?@#

Not normal.

Well on that list:
1.  Actually learn how to swim.  I had planned on taking lessons.  The local Y took my money, but unfortunately they never had the necessary minimum number of adult participates to hold a swim class.  You evidently need at least two people.
2. No cross country trips in the weeks leading up to the race.  Even though I did a couple of workouts while away, jet lag hit me hard - three days after I returned.  Who knew?

3. Lift a weight or two.  I let my upper/lower body routines slide way back.  I think it would have helped.  I could have came in placed in the top 200, instead of the bottom 20.
4. Less time falling off my bike in training.  Enough said.
5. Kept up with my blog... believe it or not, knowing I would have to write something motivated me to workout.  I also was motivated by your positive feedback.  See what I just did there?  Now you're obliged to write a comment. Hell, if I can do a mini-sprint triathlon, surely you can write a comment.  lazy ass.

76 days to go and I've got the scars to prove it

Yet another snag on the road to tri success... the scraped knee.  It's been a few days, but man is it still sore.  At least the swelling is going down.  At least I think it has - I've been taking it easy and pretty much I'm leaving that body part alone... although I think my knee was giving me dirty looks this morning while I was wrestling with the pantyhose getting ready for church this morning.  Pray for my knee.
Okay, so how does one fall good and proper off a bike... with all the skill and grace of... me. Shifting my gears [and I'm thinking oh, I got this...] but little did I know, I ain't got this].  The chain decided not to shift with my hand motions and although one foot was securely out of the little foot cage, I kept putting weight on the other, thinking it was out too.  No.  Not so much. Pain, blood, and bruised ego followed.  The good news [or at least the scary, I'm-so-committed-to-this-race news] is that this mishap occurred at the start of my cycling workout and instead of crying, licking my wounds and heading home, I continued on my merry way and completed my ride.  Of course, it didn't dawn on me until I was half way home that I do have a first aid kit in the car.  Now if this fall down thing happens again, let's say during the actually triathlon, with people watching... let's just pray for no more falls.

The Perfect One

Okay, getting up early to workout before work - zero dollars.
Drinking, hell, gulping down my 64+ oz of water a day - zero dollars.
Finding the perfect bra to tame the boobies - priceless.

Okay guys, this may not be the post for you.  I understand I need to exercise... what  I don't understand is how the exercise/fitness market doesn't seem to think fat folks need proper attire to do it?

I have been on an endless journey to find the proper blend of man-made materials [some combination of spandex and lycra that will keep the girls in place - or at least attached to the rest of this girl] so I could actually complete 45 minutes of cardio without the need to ice down the wonder twins.  Is that so much to ask?

Just when I thought I had the right mix - I mean, I was feeling so secure I thought I'd actually duck taped 'em down - I hit the class hard - oh, yeah, I got this!  Well, not even 10 minutes in and a little sweat starts flying...and my left flank is trying to make a break for it!?!?  What do you do?  "Uhm, excuse me... can we stop for a minute? I'm having a wardrobe malfunction".  Thanks for enjoying my pain, but if you really, really wanted to help - solutions please.  I've spent top dollar, I've gone cheap, but I've not found the one.  The sports bra that's actually going to allow me to finish a sport.  All inquiries welcome. Underwire need not apply [looking for support, not trying to poke an eye out].  This is not a blog post, it's a cry for help.

82 Days to Go...In Gear & Ready to Go.

Oh man, this is real. Time is fleeting.  The triathlon is merely 82 scant days away.
Oh my.

I finally got out on the open road.  Yesterday, a nice post-church trip to the Kelly-Ellis' and a look inside the Monster Bike Garage.  No tattoos required.  My dusty little hybrid [another gray hybrid in my life] Trek got a nice little once over.  Wash, dry and two-wheel shampoo - of course we had a little oil spill, but no animals were harmed [both Sadie & Jasper were inside and unable to get down and greasy!].  Spokes were poked, and seats were set and adjusted.  I was all ready to take my 7 gears on the open road.  Let's see if months of early a.m. cycle class will pay off.
Threw the bikes on the back of the pick-up and off to Lake Norman Park.  We drove the distance to measure... about 3.5 miles one way.  Uhm, I don't think I'm ready for that... but for some reason, I forget that you can't look Natalie in the eyes... "look away, look away".  Once you make that eye contact, you're committed to 7 miles on your 'day off'.  Well I hauled all of me on the bike, and don't you know, I got through the complete ride without breaking a sweat.  Well, okay, when some dogs came out of nowhere, hell, I was all about hustle.  I'm not scared of dogs as much as I'm scared of dog bites.  I think I'm allergic.
It was a lovely ride and not nearly as hard as I thought.  Speaking of allergies - when did I get them?  Sneezy, watery, icky feeling.  I don't like them and I'd like a return, thank you.
Oh that's me... in gear and ready to go.

111 Days to Go...

Okay, now I have to get serious... 111 days to go.

I've been doing my spin class thing... drinking the water... walking/running with Natalie & Judy...

So, I'm making progress - right? Not so much.  I ordered this tri-suit.  Hey, it was on sale... but the thing is, no where in the website descriptor of the item did it say how it would look once you put it on.





[long pause while I go try it on]





Needless to say, I now know what grounded pig parts feel like when they are forced into their sausage casings.  It ain't pretty folks.  Look Away, look away.

Or just look at the pretty picture from the internet ad.

Let's hope in 111 days I can at least look at a mirror again!

Killer Cycle Class: enter at your own risk!

Yes, Virginia... we're still marathoning in July.

Of course, I could say that the blog has not been active because I have been working out like a bandit, but that would be a falsehood.  Mind you, I do hit the Y quite regularly... for heaven's sake, they actually know my name at the Mon. - Wed. - Friday spin class. Well, Friday's are a bit more than just your simple spinning... oh, no, on Friday's we spin, and just for the challenge we get off the bikes and carry them up and down the stairs.  Yeah, you got me - we aren't actually that hard-core; but we are on the bikes on minute, doing lunges down the hall the next, running laps and then push-ups.  The official name is "Cycle-Cardio" class or the way I do it - "Cycle-Cardiac Arrest" class.

Three weeks ago in the 'off the bike' part of our program I took a dive into another class member.  We were attempting to play some silly game the instructor had observed in her middle school daughter's gym class.  The goal: run across the gym without being tagged.  To avoid 'taggage'... the second biggest person in the class [I don't remember his name - I'm there to work out, not network; but for the sake of the story, let's call him Big T], Big T slams into me to avoid the tag, I stop, drop and cover - Big T totally does a full body flip over me [an exercise all to itself] and we both collide to the floor in equal parts pain and embarrassment. Moral of the story: from now on, I keep my fat-ass on the bike during Cycle-Cardiac Arrest Fridays.  The painful price of fitness.  I could go to the evening class, but the median age is like 30 - and frankly, this working out crap if rough enough.  Skinny people I can deal with... young & skinny people... that would annoy me too much, and you wouldn't like me when I'm all annoyed.

Killer Cycle-Cardio aside, I'll stick to my morning sessions.  The median age is roughly 55, maybe even 60.  Don't laugh.  Hey, stop that laughing... they are some serious kick-ass freakishly fit fifty folks.  I should be so lucky in five years.  Come to think of it, why would the instructor have a bunch of folks who are slightly passed their middle ages doing middle school p.e. activities?  I'll leave that question to my lawyer.

a big splash

Oh I know, I know... weeks go by - but I am not off the trail - derailed maybe, but still working on the goal.  It gets very, very frustrating to work and work like a dog and see little or no results.  I mean, man - I'm getting up at the crack of dawn and hauling it into the Y for cycle classes 2 to 3 times a week; packing my lunch of Smart Ones and salads doused in balsamic vinaigrette and still the scale stares back at me and smirks.  Okay, I know what they say... go by how your clothes feel or how much better you feel - but I have to tell you, when you have over one hundred pounds to lose, the sucking wind phase seems endless - so not feeling the love, yet.  

This morning I got a chance to hang out with the Kelly-Ellises or is it the Kelly-Ellis' or the... okay, Natalie and Marshall - swimming at the Mooresville YMCA.  Alright, if you want to be all technical - they swam.  As for me, I just flailed.  But man, I flail with a style that is uniquely my own!  To my defense, I've never had any swim lessons, unless you count my dad holding a hand under my flatter eight year-old belly with the instructions of  "kick your legs, kick your legs - you're not going to drown' as swim lessons, then I have had formal training. 

But who can really swim or flail when you are so distracted by the surroundings.  First of all, can I just say if it weren't a good 35 minutes away from my home, I would have to up and switch YMCA's.  The Lowes' YMCA in Mooresville makes the Statesville branch look like a crack house.  Why do the folks living on or near the lake get the big fancy YMCA - don't they all have home gyms anyway? And personal trainers? The lap pool is pretty neat, but the children's pool area complete with water slide... well that's just showing off!  All jealousy and bitterness aside [Bitter Hotline; Kathy speaking, "Yes I'm calling to complain about my local Y"], I felt good with the tips from Natalie to help me focus on some specific things when I go for pool workouts.  Just the work on kicking with the fins on was unbelievable for my legs. I can't wait to join in one of the workouts with Terri for some pointers on a back stroke that I can hopefully use to get this swim part done.  133 days will be here before you know it.  And by then, I'm hoping to make a big splash!